One day a horse and chicken were getting along beautifully in the meadow..
The horse falls into a mud hole and begins sinking; The chicken goes to get some help.
He runs to a farmhouse and jumps in the family BMW, drives back to the mud hole, and ties some rope around the bumper and throws the other end to the horse....
The chicken drives forward and saves the horse from sinking.....Smart chicken...
A few days later, the chicken and the horse were playing again in the meadow...
This time the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled for help.
‘Get me some help from the farmer.’ The horse said, ‘I’m going to stand over the hole.’
So the horse stretches his large body over the hole...
‘Grab on chicken. Grab them and pull yourself up.’ The chicken did and was saved.
Moral of the story:
If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks...
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions. NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well.. Kiss your ass good-bye.
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