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Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:  To get to the other side.
PLATO:  For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX:  It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY:  Because that's the only trip the establishment would
let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:  This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
JACK NICHOLSON:  'cause it f.....g wanted to.  That's the f.....g
Bill CLinton:  To get laid.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES:  Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
JOHNNY ROTTEN:  Because it was stapled to the punk rocker.
JOHNNY CARSON:  Because it heard there was a man over there laying
bricks and it  wanted to see for itself!
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:  The road, you see, represents the black man.  The
chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:  I envision a world where all chickens will
be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
MOSES:  And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross  the road"  And the chicken  crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER:  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross the road before you  believe it?
MACHIAVELLI:  The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive
there was.
JERRY SEINFELD:  Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place, anyway"
FREUD:  The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES:  I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your chequebook.
OLIVER STONE:  The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?"  Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN:  Chickens, over great periods of time, have been acturally
selected in such a way that  they are now genetically disposed to
cross roads.
EINSTEIN:  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA:  Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:  The chicken did not cross the road. . .  it
transcended it.
COLONEL SANDERS:  I missed one?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die.  In the rain.
ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT:  Deregulation of the chicken's side of the
road was threatening its dominant market position.  The chicken was
faced with significant challenges to create and develop the
competencies required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen
Consulting, in a partnering  relationship with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking its physical  distribution strategy and
implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),
Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge
capital and experiences to align the  chicken's people, processes and
technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program
Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
cross-spectrum of road  analysts and best chickens along with Anderson
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage
in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to
synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of
delivering and successfully architecting and implementing and
enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry
cross-median processes.  The meeting was held in a park-like setting,
enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically
based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and
unified market message and aligned with the chicken' mission, vision,
and core values.  This was conducive towards the creation of a total
business  integration solution.  Andersen Consulting helped the
chicken change to become more successful.

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Revised: 01/11/18.