Hotline Answering Menu
"Hello. Welcome to the PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE.....
- If you are OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE, please press 1 -- repeatedly.
- If you are CO-DEPENDANT, please have someone press 2 for you!
- If you have MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- If you are PARANOID-DELUSIONAL we know who you are and what you
want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call. We'll come
and get you!
- If you are SCHIZOPHRENIC, listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.
- If you are PSYCHOTIC, stab button 8. It deserves it.
- If you are ANOREXIC, press 9. If the line is busy, have a little
snack while you wait
Click here to return!